I chose to put this thing together real quick instead of raging out in my diary. Oh the way i do things at last minute,sorry if this looks shitty on your phone.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is to take the responsiblility of your audience on how to percieve your work.

It's heartbreaking to live with an idea for days, weeks and even months and never not expressing it because its not as perfect as you may have thought initially.

I've been dealing with anxiety and paraoia for the longest time and with that comes "perfectionism". It could be fear of judgement or never reaching your full potential, I honestly don't know. But I have to break that pattern and I wanted to be loud about this.

People outside my vicinity don't really know me and its on me, my bad. It turn out you can't really live in your shell entire life if all you yearn for is connection.

I love learning about a whole lot of stuff and to keep continuing that I've to put things out to keep me away from the guilt that i'm putting effort into things that don't matter.

Everything sounds stupid, corny, pretentious and "not good enough" at first but you have to get it out. Those poems aren't see the day of light if you won't let em out. Those private git repos aren't going anywhere if you won't let it out.

And yes I can put it behind an alias but the issue with aliases is that you can choose not to be that person one day. Giving up is just way too easy.

Trying to be perfect at what you do inside your little cave is good if it works for you, but it won't be long enough when you'll start choking at your own thoughts.

I don't know how and what works for you but get that shit out. Stop making blonde, you're not frank ocean. Fuck that monalisa, you're not DaVinci.You're not Shah Jahan my boy, stop building that damn Taj Mahal. get that shit out.